


We drew our own constellations

by ellievolia



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Asthma, Fluff, M/M, Magical Realism, Pining, Young Gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellievolia/pseuds/ellievolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Generally, Michael’s good enough with kids. The thing about kids is that he doesn’t have to take them home with him and be responsible for everything they need and shit. He can be the cool guy that lets them eat candy and run around and break shit. </p>
<p>Until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We drew our own constellations

**Author's Note:**

> Unabashedly fluffy! Again, thanks go to Ellen for looking over this and helping me steer it into the fluff-fest it ended up being. The only warning you may need would be for a child's asthma attack - with no bad consequences. 
> 
> If there is any remaining errors, it's on me, and feel free to let me know. If you have any concrit you want to give me, go ahead, and if you want to do it privately, my email is ellievolia at gmail dot com. You can also find me at cakelessness dot tumblr dot com.

Look, Michael’s okay with kids. Like, he’s not ready to have his own or anything and he’s never entirely sure what to do with any that is under the age of three, but he’s a good uncle to his nephews, and he gets along with Geoff’s kid just fine. Gavin’s always saying he’s better, but Michael hasn’t had years living with kids and watch them grow and shit, so it’s not like Gavin’s fair about that. 

Generally, Michael’s good enough with kids. The thing about kids is that he doesn’t have to take them home with him and be responsible for everything they need and shit. He can be the cool guy that lets them eat candy and run around and break shit. 

Until now. 

;;

It happens over lunch. Michael, Geoff and Jack take off for burritos; Ryan’s eating with Meg and Ashley for a pre-Patch meeting, and Ray’s off in Joel and Adam’s cave, while Gavin just stays in to finish an edit, powering through with shitty energy bars and Red Bull. 

It’s nothing new, nothing surprising. Sure, Michael would have liked it if Gavin had decided to join them, but whatever; it’s fine. 

Everything comes to a head when they come back from lunch. They’re loud, chatting about the Spiderman movies, arguing and mocking each other, as usual, and when they walk into the Achievement Hunter office, it’s empty. 

Michael thinks nothing of it - Gavin gets distracted easily, but the weird thing is that the video still running on his screen. Michael frowns, leaning over to pause it, and that’s when he hears it - the sniffle. It’s super quiet, but Michael frowns deeper, turning to Geoff and Jack, still arguing. 

“Shut the fuck up for a second!” he exclaims, out of the blue, which is enough to stun the other two into silence. It happens again then, unmistakably, another sniffle, and it’s coming from under Gavin’s desk. 

Maybe Ryan’s playing another prank on Gav? 

Michael, curious, pushes Gavin’s chair a little way away, and crouches down to peer under his desk, and - he lets out a noise, a little squeak. That’s….not a prank. 

“Michael?” Geoff asks, and Michael feels both him and Jack approaching, but he can’t look away. 

Under Gavin’s desk, sitting against the wall with his legs tucked as close to his body as possible, is a little dude. Probably 3 or 4, all blonde, unruly hair, and tear-filled eyes, sniffling regularly. He’s cute, but then it hits Michael - he’s wrapped in clothes that are way too big for him, and Gavin’s stupid Converse are right there next to the kid, 

_And the kid looks a fucking hell of a lot like Gavin._

“Holy shit,” Michael hears Jack say, but he can’t get past his own brain going into overdrive to even formulate a response. He does manage to look at Geoff and Jack, who are crouched behind him. Jack’s eyes and mouth are wide open in shock, while Geoff - he’s just frozen in place. 

The kid sniffles again, and Michael turns back to him, moving to his knees, shuffling minutely closer. They can’t just keep on staring at him without saying anything, it’s just going to freak him out further. Okay. Okay. 

“Hey, buddy,” Michael ends up saying, feeling like a complete idiot. “What’chu doing here?” 

The kid shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes some more. His bottom lip trembles. Oh shit. 

“Okay, okay, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. What’s your name?” he asks, as gently as he can, his heart hammering in his chest. 

“Ga-Gavin,” the kid replies, confirming Michael’s worst fears. Shit, _shit_. 

“Jesus Christ,” Michael hears Geoff exhale, and feels him rock off from his feet, sitting his ass on the floor in front of Gavin’s desk. “My God, it happened again.”

Michael turns to him, sharply. “What do you mean, _again_?” 

Geoff just runs a hand over his face. “Later. We need to deal with this. I’ll - I’ll go home and find some of Millicent’s old stuff that should fit him. Maybe Ryan has some stuff too. Jack, round up the others. Michael -”

Michael clenches his jaw. “I’ll stay with him.”

“Yes.”

;;

Gavin keeps on looking straight at Michael, even after the other two rush out - big green eyes full of tears staying right on Michael’s face. He doesn’t look scared anymore, which is a good thing, but he doesn’t look like he’s any kind of relaxed or comfortable, either. Michael decides to change tacs, and sits on the floor in front of Gavin, smiling as much as he can. 

“Hey Gavin, buddy, I’m Michael,” he says, thinking about extending his hand for a shake, but Gavin’s own hands are curled tight in the too big Mark Nutt shirt he was wearing earlier. 

“Micoo,” Gavin replies, like he’s testing the name on his tongue. 

Michael nods. “That’s right. Do you know who I am?”

Gavin shakes his head again, his mouth twisted. For some reason, this makes Michael’s heart clench a little; he’d hoped that Gavin would still recognize him, at least. 

“That’s fine, bud. We’re friends, you and I. The very best of friends! So, you need anything, you ask me, okay?”

Gavin takes a moment to consider, apparently, and then nods solemnly. “Okay, Micoo.”

“Okay then. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Let me know when you feel like crawling out of here, okay? You take your time.”

There, Gavin surprises him. He expected silence, or maybe for Gavin to ask for food or something, but instead, Gavin grips the shirt he’s wrapped in, and shuffles close to Michael, throwing his arms around Michael’s neck and hugging him, pressing his snotty nose against Michael’s neck. 

Michael is stunned, for a moment there, an armful of tiny Gavin clinging to him, and he hugs back automatically, his hand feeling too big on Gavin’s back. 

;;

That’s how Jack, Ryan, and Ray find them, hugging under Gavin’s desk. Michael shoots them a slightly panicked look, but Jack just grins, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture. Ryan and Ray just look slightly bewildered, but not as shocked as they could - Michael guesses Jack warned them beforehand. 

“Hey buddy, think you want to move? Maybe say hello to some other friends?” Michael whispers to Gavin, but Gavin shakes his head, pressing even closer. “Okay, okay, no worries. You take your time.”

“I brought you a Capri-Sun, though,” Ray says, and Gavin’s head pops up from over Michael’s shoulder, looking interested. Michael lets out a relieved sigh - thank God for Ray. 

Ray’s awkward as fuck around kids, but he’s comfortable as fuck around Gavin, so he seems to hit kind of a middle ground here, approaching slowly with the juice pack held out in front of him. 

Gavin takes it, shuffling away from Michael enough to look down at the pack in his hands. He looks back up at Ray, and says, voice soft, “Thank you.”

“No problem, bud. I’m Ray, by the way.”

“My name is Gavin,” Gavin replies, this time with my confidence. Then he thrusts the Capri-Sun at Michael. “Help?”

Michael gets it open for him, handing it back and earning himself a smile before Gavin starts drinking noisily. When he stops, he looks at Michael, then Ray, then Ryan and Jack, further back in the room. “Where is mummy?” he asks. 

Michael’s been dreading that one, and he’s trying to find an answer that won’t upset Gavin, coming up empty because fuck, his mom’s in the UK, and they’re in fucking Texas, and what a fucking nightmare. 

But then Ryan steps closer, crouching right next to Michael. “Your mummy’s not here right now, but we’ll get her on the phone to speak to you very soon, okay?” 

Gavin takes a shaky breath, and then he nods, still looking unsure. “Okay. Who are you?”

“I’m Ryan.”

“My name is Gavin.”

Ryan grins and nods. “It’s nice to meet you, Gavin.”

;;

Geoff comes back with some clothes - underwear, a tiny pair of jeans and a tiny pink t-shirt with a unicorn on it, to which he just grins, shrugs a shoulder and says, “I thought it’d look cute on him!” because even to a 3-year-old Gavin, Geoff has to be an asshole. 

However, Gavin _loves_ the shirt. He makes grabby hands at it when he sees it, and allows Geoff to take him to the bathroom to get him changed; it’s like Gavin has retained something from his adult self, and he seems to trust the lot of them instinctively, Geoff and Michael earning themselves the brunt of his affections. 

When he comes back all dressed, he puffs out his chest proudly and points out the unicorn on his shirt to everyone, naming it ‘Edward’ immediately and looking absurdly pleased when Ryan coos about it. 

Michael tends to forget just how Dad-like both Ryan and Geoff can turn; it’s like a switch in their brains, it’s easy for them. It’s hard for Michael, whose brain still doesn’t really compute that this tiny person clambering out of Geoff’s arms and straight onto Michael’s lap, this tiny human is _Gavin_. How is he supposed to even compute that? 

It’s a good thing that Gavin falls asleep shortly after, curled up on Michael’s lap. He’s got his thumb in his mouth and he looks peaceful, calm, which makes one of them, at the very least. Michael swirls his chair around, holding onto Gavin lightly to avoid jostling him, and looks at the rest of them, slightly desperately. 

“What the fuck?” He asks as quietly as he can. At some point he’s going to get angry, maybe once he’s less worried about - about everything. “Geoff -” he says, desperately, and Geoff shrugs, his eyes on Gavin. 

“It happened with Joel once. Like, at the very beginning of RT, I mean. We were fuckheads, and fucking around with RvB, and Gus, Matt and I went on a run for more beers or whatever, and when we came back, Joel was a mini-Joel, clinging to Burnie. To this day I’ve never seen burnie more panicked in my life.” 

He stops there, and the rest of them look at him intently, until Ryan holds up a hand. “And? How did you get him to change back? Not that tiny Gavin isn’t cute and less annoying than adult Gavin, but you know. He’s an adult. I mean, to a certain extent.”

Geoff shrugs again. “He just turned back after a few days. He stayed with Burnie and Burnie never told us if anything special happened, so I really don’t know.” 

Michael takes a deep breath, feeling like screaming. He wants to have a fucking clue about what to do; he is so out of his depth. He’s going to have to speak to Joel. “Okay. Okay, fine, I guess, um. Geoff, you’ll take him, right? He can sleep at yours.” 

Geoff nods. “Of course.” 

“Okay.”

;;

They didn’t count on Gavin waking up as he’s being transferred from Michael’s to Geoff’s arms, though, and his sudden distress. 

“Micoo!” He exclaims, holding his arms out to him, eyes all but panicked about being away from him, which is adorable and really quite distressing at the same time. Adult Gavin is clingy, sure, but not that badly. Or maybe he just hides it better - Michael wouldn’t be able to say, he spends too much time trying to hide just how needy he is about Gavin himself to give much thought to how Gavin acts himself. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay buddy, Geoff’s got a nice little bed for you, and tons of toys and video games. It’ll be fine!” 

“I stay with you?” Gavin asks, even as he curls a hand into Geoff’s collar. Geoff smiles, raising an eyebrow at Michael, like a fucking challenge, like it’s time for this shit. 

“My place’s not made for little kids -” 

Gavin’s bottom lip starts trembling again. Fucking shit, what a player already. Shit. “Micoo,” he says, all soft and pitiful and, fuck it, Michael sighs loudly through his nose, grabbing Gavin from Geoff’s arms, who lets him go without problem. 

“Fine. _Fine_ , but I swear, you better be on your best behavior.” 

Gavin nods, so hard Michael worries his head is going to fall off, and then both Geoff and Ryan drop hands on Michael’s shoulders. “I’ll bring you stuff,” Ryan says. 

“Yeah, me too,” Geoff adds, and Michael looks at both of them gratefully. 

“Thanks, guys. Shit, I don’t have a car seat.”

“Bad word!” Gavin giggles, and Ray laughs along, because clearly they’re not all grown ups in this office. Michael would probably laugh along usually, but he’s kinda...preoccupied. 

“I got one in my car, I’ll get it for you,” Ryan says, and then leaves the office. 

God-fucking-damnit, but Michael’s weakness to Gavin - any version of Gavin, apparently - will be his downfall. 

;;

In Michael’s apartment, Gavin immediately sets off, little legs rushing off for him to look at everything. Michael closes his eyes for a second, thinking of his collectibles. “Don’t touch stuff that looks like it could break!” he says loudly from the hallway, dropping his backpack to follow Gavin into the living-room. 

Gavin turns to him, looking all sheepish, holding Banjo in one hand, and Kazooie in the other. He sticks out his bottom lip. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” he says pitifully, and Michael - fuck, but if Michael’s heart doesn’t completely melt, right there and then. 

“It’s fine, buddy, it came like that,” Michael says, taking the toy from Gavin’s hands and putting it back together. “See?” 

Gavin nods, petting the toy softly before turning back again towards Michael’s display of consoles and games. “We play?” 

“Sure. Wanna play Banjo & Kazooie? You’ll like it.”

“Okay!” 

Thus placated, Gavin sets himself in front of the TV, clambering on the couch with his feet off the floor, kicking idly while while Michael fires up the Xbox. He’s going to need some dinner soon, and to go to sleep before too long, but Michael has no idea about times, and rules, and whatever the fuck else he should be thinking about, he’s not a fucking dad, Gavin’s not his _kid_ , shit, Gavin’s the guy Michael considers his best friend and also the guy that possibly Michael has feelings for - not friendship feelings but _I-want-to-bang-him_ feelings, and here Gavin is, a miniature version with massive ears and nose and long silky blonde hair and Michael is _lost_ , okay, he has no idea what to do. 

He gives Gavin a controller and takes a deep breath. “You play for a minute, buddy, I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Sure, Micoo,” Gavin says, all serious-like. Michael nods, leaving the living-room and making a beeline for the bathroom, where he closes the door behind himself and lets out a shaky exhale. He closes his eyes tight, clenches his jaw, curls his hands into fists against the wall, and drops his head forward onto his chest, trying his best to breathe. He’s losing his fucking mind, this is definitely a fucked-up hallucination, it can’t be happening. 

He doesn’t know how long he stays in the bathroom, shaking and taking in big gulps of air, feeling like he’s drowning. There’s a buzzing noise in his ears, and his teeth hurt from being clenched so tight; he keeps on thinking, Gavin, _Gavin_ , but he can’t go back out there, not like this. 

A hand, heavy and warm, drops onto his shoulder suddenly, making Michael jump, his eyes opening with a gasp. Geoff’s standing in front of him, looking concerned, and Michael reaches out, grabs Geoff’s wrist and squeezes tightly. Geoff pulls him into a hug. 

“Hey, c’mon son, breathe, okay, it’ll be okay,” Geoff says gently, before pulling back enough to be able to search Michael’s eyes. Michael nods, and Geoff smiles under his mustache. “Breathe with me, okay? In, one, two, three, hold. And out, one, two, three, slowly, that’s it.” 

Michael follows Geoff’s instructions, and feels his heart rate slow down, his brain and vision clearing up. He nods when he feels sort of normal again, and Geoff lets him go. 

“Will you be okay? I can take him; he’ll make a fuss but he’ll settle.”

“No, no, I can take care of it. Of _him_. I just - I don’t know how to process this,” Michael says truthfully, and Geoff nods. 

“It’s not like it’s _easy_. Michael, I think we all know it. But right now, Gavin doesn’t get it, you know? I think he needs you most of all, and you need to be there for him. Will you manage that, do you think? I can stay, if you need me to.”

Michael shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “No, no, it’s fine. I can do it. We’ll be fine.” 

“Just call if you need me, okay? I’ve left you all sorts of clothes and stuff for him, a couple of stuffed toys if he wants to sleep with them, and like, a list of food things that are good for him to have. Don’t let him bully you just because he’s cute, alright?”

“Gavin’s always cute,” Michael replies without even thinking about it, before rolling his eyes at himself when Geoff chuckles. “Goddamnit, listen to me.”

“I won’t tell a soul, promise. But you should go back, Gavin was concerned about you.” 

;;

“Are you okay, Micoo?” Gavin asks when Michael makes his way back to the living-room, to see it perfectly in order still. He lets out a small sigh of relief before sitting next to Gavin on the sofa, ignoring Gavin’s little shoes leaving imprint on the fabric as he trudges closer to Michael, eyes concerned. 

“I’m fine, buddy, sorry if I worried you. I’m all good,” he says, managing a smile, and Gavin grins back, all bright and sunny, reaching out to poke a finger in Michael’s dimple. 

“It’s okay. I need to pee,” Gavin says, and Michael smiles suddenly, because Gavin is all serious and earnest and so cute, Michael kinda want to squish him. 

“Of course, come on.”

;;

Gavin falls asleep tucked up on the couch some time after dinner, his head propped up on Michael’s thigh, using him as a human pillow. He’s got his thumb stuck in his mouth and his soft breathing sounds are somehow relaxing, chest going up, and down in a steady rhythm under Michael’s hand. It’s oddly reassuring, just to have him here and unmistakably _alive_ , even in this form. Better than if Gav had just suddenly disappeared, probably. 

There’s a wildlife documentary playing in the background, sound low so as to not wake Gavin, but Michael’s not watching it anyway, paying more attention to Gavin, still trying to wrap his head around everything. There’s a Whatsapp conversation going on between the rest of the AH office, discussing what they’re going to do - Geoff’s put himself in charge of talking to Gavin’s parents since he knows them best. Jack, earlier, told them he and Ray were going to sit down with Burnie, Gus and Joel, updating them and hoping for some help at the same time. Ryan keeps on sending pictures of random stuff, asking Michael if he’d like to use this or that, which Michael mainly ignores, overwhelmed as he is. 

He’s grateful for them, he really is. But, somehow, Gavin has decided that Michael was to be his primary carer, and Michael’s not a dad, nor does he want to be - he definitely doesn’t want to be Gavin’s dad - and he has no hands-on experience; he is so out of his depth. But as he watches Gavin sleep soundly, looking completely peaceful, relaxed, like he feels safe and secure here with Michael, it makes something in Michael’s chest swell up warm and proud, and he’s okay with this. He’s okay with this.

;;

The night is surprisingly uneventful, besides the fact that Gavin woke up when Michael moved him off the couch, and refused to sleep in the guest bedroom alone - too dark, too empty, too lonely. So Michael ended up sharing his own bed with Gavin, letting him sprawl around, his little hand curled around Michael’s wrist. 

For such a small kid, Gavin takes a lot of space, that’s for sure. 

In the morning, Michael contemplates what to do for a single minute before deciding that the best course of action is just to take Gavin with him to work. Getting him ready is no small task - Michael’s pretty much a morning person, up and about easily, without even needing coffee, but Gavin trudges sleepily around the apartment, whines about wanting cereal and drags his feet to the bathroom, constantly rubbing his eyes and throwing pitiful looks at Michael, who is trying his hardest not to just throw every plan out of the window and allow the two of them to have a lazy morning in bed watching cartoons instead. 

But, he can be stronger than that. He’s the adult here, he can fucking herd a kid around and get him fed, watered and dressed. That’s the thing Michael is able to do. 

“Come on, buddy!” He exclaims as Gavin fights being put on a shirt, whining low and sounding like he’s about to cry, until Michael just stops, leaving the shirt on his bed to kneel in front of Gavin, who’s not looking at him. 

“What is it, kiddo? Are you really that tired?” 

Gavin’s mouth is all down at the corners, looking pouty and red in the face. Michael puts his index finger under Gavin’s chin, gently gently lifting it until their eyes meet. “Talk to me, Gav.”

“You’re going to work,” Gavin says, his tone dejected. 

“Yes, and?”

“You’re going to leave me.” 

Michael frowns, not fully understanding, until it clicks that Gavin must think Michael’s going to drop him off at preschool or a nanny or something, wherever little kids go to - it’s not like he remembers. 

Suddenly he smiles, the desire to tease Gavin overwhelming. “Yeah, I’m totally leaving you on the side of the street. Hope you’re ready to sleep in trashcans.”

Gavin looks up suddenly, his eyes teary. “No!”

Michael laughs, tapping Gavin’s chin with a finger. “Of course not, silly. You’re coming with me, okay? I’m not leaving you anywhere.” 

“Really?” Gavin still looks ready to burst out crying, but he’s also looking tentatively relieved now, eyes wide open and unblinking. 

“Really. Now get dressed, Gavvy, we’re gonna be late.”

Suddenly, it’s a lot easier to get him into his clothes. 

;;

Things are pretty normal at work, which is weird. But then again, they are a bunch of grown men playing video games for a living, so replacing one with a child is actually not really changing much to their routines. 

It’s late morning when Burnie and Gus show up in the office. “So, where is he?” Burnie asks, and Jack gestures to Gavin’s chair, where he’s sitting, playing Geometry Wars. His hands are too small for the controller, so he’s left it over his lap, giving him better access to the sticks and buttons. Pretty clever, really. 

“Hey, Gavvy, wanna pause for a sec? Say hello?” Michael asks him, eyebrows raised. Gavin frowns, still looking at his screen, but then he nods, pausing his game and pushing off the desk with one hand, chair swivelling around. Burnie gasps as he’s faced with Gavin. 

“Hello,” Gavin says, because he might be only three years old, he’s still an asshole. Michael can’t help but grin. 

“Jesus Christ,” Burnie says, softly, looking like he’s about to be sick. “Hi, Gav.”

“Who are you?”

“Burnie, and this is Gus. We’re your friends.” 

“I like your shirt,” Gavin tells Burnie. “Mine’s better. It’s got _Jack Ske-lling-ton_ on it,” pronouncing the name Michael told him earlier slowly, to make sure he’s got it right. 

“Yeah, your shirt’s cool, buddy,” Burnie says, smiling. He throws Geoff a look. “He’s not so different from normal sized Gavin, really,” he adds under his breath, and Michael really _wishes_ that was true. 

Gus is still staring at Gavin, looking a little frozen. Gavin turns his eyes to him, staring right back, squinting a little like it’s a contest. Then, slowly, slowly, he raises a finger towards his face, still staring straight at Gus unblinkingly. Michael has no idea what he’s doing, until he sticks his finger right up his nose, looking like he’s digging, and Gus startles, blinking furiously before bursting out laughing. “Gavin alright. Man, his nose is still massive.”

“Your eyebrows are massive,” Michael replies, irrationally defensive of Gavin and his stupid nose. Gus snorts. 

“They look like big worms,” Gavin whispers to Michael, his finger still firmly wedged up his nose. Michael has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from bursting out laughing. 

“That they do, Gavvy, you’re right,” he replies, a smile growing uncontrollably over his face. 

Gus rolls his eyes. “Whatever, pint size. Wanna play Smash Bros?”

Gavin lights up. “Yeah!”

;;

It’s good to have the others around. They keep Gavin entertained enough that Michael feels like he can take a step back, laughing along and teasing as usual, some of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. This isn’t all on him. He doesn’t have to take on all the responsibilities, which is good, because fuck, he’s not great at it. 

Really, Michael’s an okay adult; he moved from New Jersey to Texas by himself and got himself a place to live and manages to pay all of his bills on time, all of that stuff, he’s good at. And he can be serious, too, he takes some shit seriously. 3-year-old Gavin needing him is definitely something he’s not taking lightly at all, but it weighs heavy on his chest. He doesn’t want to be responsible for Gavin’s well-being. He doesn’t want to be responsible for Gavin’s happiness - he wants to be a factor to Gavin’s happiness. He wants to be a part of Gavin’s life, yes, definitely, but he doesn’t want to be responsible for its boundaries. 

It’s just - it’s _weird_. If it was any other kid, Michael would roll with it better. He’d deal with how clingy they are better, because now, with Gavin, Michael just keeps on thinking, would he be this clingy as an adult, if Michael finally threw caution to the wind and told Gavin about his stupid fucking feelings? Would he take as much space in bed? Would he look just as home sleeping with his head on Michael’s lap as tiny Gavin does? Would his hair be as soft, and would he like it petted as much? 

Michael shakes his head, derailing that train of thought. No use to think like this right now, and he’s got stuff to do. While Gavin is completely taken by a Mario Kart tournament with Burnie, Ray, and Geoff, Michael slips out of the office. 

He’s got to speak to Joel. 

;;

Joel’s alone when Michael walks into his corner of the office, which is a relief; he looks deep in thought, staring at his computer screen, playing with the foam of his mic absent-mindedly with one hand. 

“Hey, Joel,” Michael says as he walks in, not really wanting to startle him. Joel still jumps a little, turning towards Michael. 

“Oh, hi Michael.”

“I wanted to have a chat with you, if that’s okay?”

Joel sighs, like he’s been expecting it, which - he probably has been. “Yeah, ‘course. Sit down, man. I guess this is about Gavin?”

“Yep,” Michael replies, sitting down in Adam’s chair heavily. He runs a hand over his face, unsure where to even start. 

“I’ve told everything I could to Jack and Ray, dude, I’m not sure what more I can say to help. It didn’t last, for me.”

“Do you remember any of it?”

“Yeah.”

“And you remember what helped you change back?” 

Joel shrugs. “It was ten years ago, Michael, and believe me, I’ve done my fucking hardest to try and not think about it.”

Michael leans forward, a frustrated form of anger bubbling up in his stomach. “Yeah, Joel, okay, but this isn’t just about you anymore? I don’t want Gavin to stay like this, so you’re going to drudge up the memories, yeah?”

Joel sighs again, looking so tired Michael almost feels bad. Only he doesn’t, because Joel is here, his normal, grown-man self, and he can suck it up. Gavin is _three years old_. 

“It was...a lot of it had to do with Burnie. With our relationship at the time.”

Michael blinks. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that, at the time, Burnie and I had kind of a complicated relationship and we didn’t talk about it and it’s like this whole thing happening to me made a few things come to a head and for fuck’s sake, Michael, it’s between him and I, okay!”

Joel’s tone steadily raised through his tirade, and Michael falls back against his seat, trying to understand what Joel is and isn’t saying. Michael never meant to pry into Joel’s life, and even less into Burnie’s, but this - 

Michael runs his hand over his face again, sort of overwhelmed. “Shit,” he whispers, mostly to himself, but Joel picks it up anyway. 

“What?”

Michael contemplates shrugging it off, moving on, but then he finds himself saying, with barely a thought behind it, “I think I might be Gavin’s Burnie, here.”

“Oh,” Joel says, before dropping a heavy, reassuring hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, if it helps, this whole thing really changed things for Burnie and I. For the better.”

Michael doesn’t want to ask the question that’s burning on the tip of his tongue; he’s already asked too many details from Joel, and to be honest, he doesn’t really want to know if Joel and Burnie were a thing, or if their issues were entirely different. Also, he doesn’t really want to, like, out his feelings for Gavin to Joel like that. 

So he doesn’t ask, but he nods, dropping his head in his hands. “Great.”

;;

When Michael comes back into the AH office, it’s to Gavin holding Geoff’s phone to his face with both hands, chatting away happily.

“Yes, Mummy,” Michael hears Gavin say, sounding exasperated, so he turns to Geoff. 

“What did you tell her?” he asks. 

“Just the truth. She was surprisingly not as shocked as she probably should have been, but then again, we’re talking about Gavin, so.”

“No, I stayed with Micoo! We played video games. I was a bear,” Gavin continues in the background, and Michael hides his smile with a hand on his face. 

“And they’re okay? His parents?”

Geoff shrugs. “I mean, I don’t know. They talked about getting on a plane, but I told them to hold off on that - we don’t know how long he’s going to stay like this. It was less than a week with Joel.” 

“Micoo?” 

Michael turns around at Gavin’s call for him, crossing the office quickly. “Yeah, buddy?”

Gavin holds the phone out. “Mummy wants to talk to you.”

Michael looks at the phone with a surprised frown, but goes to grab it anyway. He’s a good boy, well-raised, and he’s not going to make Ms. Free wait around. “She does?” he asks Gavin, widening his eyes comically wide and making Gavin giggle. Then he presses the phone to his own ear. 

“Hi Ms. Free, this is Michael.” 

He’s met Gavin’s parents and brother a handful of times, and it’s all been friendly enough, but right now, Michael feels an odd sense of formality overtaking him; he’s playing babysitter to her kid, after all. He hears her take a deep breath on the other end of the phone, like she’s trying to keep herself together. Michael knows the feeling. 

“First off, I wanted to thank you for...for taking care of Gavin,” she starts with, and Michael nods. 

“Of course.”

“I know you know he’s a handful, but as a toddler, he was even worse. You’re going to want to watch him around sharp corners, his balance isn’t the best.”

She sounds a little wistful, and Michael smiles, finding himself putting a hand on Gavin’s head, fluffing his hair a little as Gavin turns his big green eyes up to Michael. 

“Noted.”

“Has he been eating okay? Back in the day, getting him to eat anything else than porridge and tiny elbow pasta was a struggle. Oh, also, he _hates_ getting his hair washed, so try to distract him with toys while doing that.” 

Michael’s gut clenches. He didn’t give Gavin any kind of bath the night before, Gavin had fallen asleep so quickly, and he really - he feels sort of stupidly uncomfortable with the idea, even if he’s done worse. He gives himself a mental shake; if he was able to help Andrew when he was ridiculously drunk, he can give a 3-year-old Gavin a bath. 

Sure, he wishes he could help a fully grown-up Gavin in the shower instead, but. Better not to think about that. Down this path leads misery, especially now. 

“He’s been eating fine, although I’ll admit I haven’t even thought about healthy options.”

“That’s okay, Michael, it must be - it must be a lot. It’s a lot.” 

“I’m -” He looks down at Gavin again. “We’re doing okay,” he says, because they are, mainly.

“All right. Good, then. I just wanted to add another thing - he was prone to asthma attacks when he was little. He’s mostly grown out of it but he should still have an inhaler around in his house, if you want to keep it close, just in case.” 

“I’ll definitely go have a look, thanks,” Michael replies.

“Is it okay if I send you an email? I’ll probably think of a couple more things to say, and I was wondering if maybe you’d be okay, um...sending me a picture?”

Michael throws a fond look at Gavin, who’s back into Geometry Wars, his tongue poking out of his mouth. He’s just tremendously cute, even with the nose and the ears that seem too big for his head. 

“Of course. If you want, I can just grab your number from Geoff and send you regular updates.”

“That’d be wonderful. It’s weird, but sometimes I do miss when they were little. Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer. I’ll send that email across as soon as I can, Michael. Again - thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Free. I’ll speak to you soon.”

“You will! Bye!”

“Bye,” Michael says to the line going dead, and then looks at Gavin again. “Your mom wants you to eat veggies, Gavvy,” he says teasingly, his laughter drowned out by the force of Gavin’s whine. 

;;

From then on, Michael starts documenting Gavin’s every move. He tells himself it’s for his parents’ benefit, but it’s kind of a white lie; they’re all used to filming themselves so much, it’s like second nature to want to keep a trace of this, and then there’s also being able to give Gavin so much shit when he’s back to his normal size. 

He takes pictures of Gavin playing in the pool with Barb and Aaron, the neon orange arm band floaties Michael bought for him at Target bigger than Gavin’s head when he grins for the camera, his hair plastered to his forehead as he holds onto Barb. 

He films the first meeting between Gavin and Joe the Cat, snapping a few pictures of Gavin hugging the stuffing out of a blasé Joe, who doesn’t even make a single noise of protest as Gavin makes tiny squeaky noises of delight, pushing his face in Joe’s fur. Michael makes one of these pictures his new phone background, grinning himself silly every time he swipes it on. 

He captures a few soft moments, too, like the one where Ryan started telling a story to Gavin and it ended up with Gavin sprawled over Ryan’s lap, comfortably secure, his thumb in his mouth and dozing while Ryan carded his fingers through Gavin’s hair. Or the time Ray and Gavin fell asleep on the AH office couch, curled up together with Ray’s Pokemon plushie stuck between them. 

He takes pictures of Gavin messily eating pizza; of Gavin hugging Griffon, his nose pressed against her collarbones and her eyes soft and fond; of Ray and Gavin high-fiving; of Gavin’s fingers in Jack’s beard; he takes a million pictures, and keeps them in a folder that he keeps on going back to. 

His favorites, though, they’re the ridiculous selfies he takes with Gavin, holding his phone out, Gavin sitting on his lap, and the two of them making stupid faces at the camera. There’s a series of them where Michael’s puffing out his cheeks, Gavin’s little hands pushing the air out, sending his hair flying upwards as Michael blows air into his delighted, laughing face. Of all the moments he captures, the best ones, to Michael, are when it’s just the two of them. 

He’s used to it. 

;;

It’s not all sunshine and roses. Gavin is still _Gavin_ , and it means he’s still absolutely stubborn, and he’s a shithead more often than not. He still fights Michael whenever he’s not busy trying to manipulate him, a little tornado of blonde hair and big bright eyes; pretty much exactly the same as adult Gavin, really, only tiny Gavin is like this 24/7 - either bouncing off the walls or falling asleep, while grown-up Gavin has long periods of time where he’s so intent on work that he goes quiet, focused. Tiny Gavin doesn’t get like that. 

It’s fucking exhausting, to have a kid. 

Especially right now; Gavin is crying, full-on crying, clinging to Michael’s arms as he tries to put him to bed after an already horrific bath time where they fought tooth and nails to get Gavin’s hair washed, all of it after a long dinner where Gavin spent more time pushing three green beans around on his plate than eating anything. 

Michael is so tired of this day he could cry himself; he just wants Gavin to calm down so that he can have a beer before bed, maybe watch an episode of Games of Thrones. But, like every night Michael’s tried to get Gavin to sleep in the guest room, Gavin refuses. 

Gavin is clawing at him, crying his little heart out, probably more out of tiredness than anything else, and Michael sits down on the bed, sighing heavily as Gavin climbs up on his lap, his arms squeezing around Michael’s neck.

“What is it, Gavvy? Why won’t you sleep in here?” 

“‘Tis too dark,” Gavin says in a tiny voice, hiccuping. “I’m scared.”

Michael sighs again. He’s not going to win this one, he’s pretty sure. He’ll have to ask Ryan and Geoff for some help, here, because he’s got no clue on how to get Gavin to sleep on his own, but he’s pretty sure it’s not healthy for them to co-sleep. Also, it’s weird. 

“Fine. Fine, you win, let’s go,” Michael says, gathering Gavin up in his arms and carrying him to his own bedroom. It only takes seconds for Gavin to stop crying, and he falls asleep on Michael, one hand curled around the collar of Michael’s sleep shirt, all peaceful, like nothing even happened at all. 

;;

“Hey kiddo, I’ve got something for you!” Ryan exclaims when Gavin and Michael walk into the office, a few days after Gavin’s latest crisis about sleeping alone in the dark. Michael’s talked about it with both Geoff and Ryan, hoping for advice; they both talked about phases and time making things easier, nothing that really helped Michael, though.

Gavin, of course, bounces over to Ryan’s desk excitedly, barely keeping himself from jumping over him in his haste. “What? What is it, what is it, Ryan, _Ryan_!”

Ryan laughs, ruffling Gavin’s hair before producing his present with a flourish. Gavin takes it, looking over at the thing in his hands, a confused frown on his face. “What is it?”

“It’s a nightlight, Gavin. It keeps the bad dreams away at night.”

Gavin looks up again. “Oh. Is it magic?”

Ryan shrugs. “Sure. Nobody knows how they work, but monsters are definitely all afraid of them.”

“Is it precious?” Gavin asks, his voice soft as he looks back at the nightlight in his hands, now cradling it close to his chest carefully.

“Very, so you’ll have to take very good care of it, okay? If you do, it’ll take care of you right back.”

Gavin nods fiercely, before stepping forward, opening an arm for a hug. Ryan leans down, embracing Gavin briefly – Gavin almost disappears in Ryan’s arms. “Thank you, Ryan. I’ll be very careful.”

“Good,” Ryan says, and that is that. Gavin goes to the couch, still holding the nightlight, and Michael drops a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Thank you, man.”

“It’s no problem. Let us know if he sleeps better with it.”

“Yeah, I will. Can’t be worse.”

;;

The nightlight, when they plug it in, sends stars and galaxies all over the ceiling of Michael’s guest bedroom, and Gavin is _delighted_. It’s a complete 180, as he suddenly refuses to even leave the room, sprawled on the bed counting stars and making little _ooh_ noises when they move across the ceiling. Michael films it from the door, and sends the video to both Gavin’s parents and Ryan, his heart fit to burst.

In a way, Michael envies Gavin. He’s back to that time of his life where naiveté and genuine, earnest curiosity are rewarded, a time where his innocence is the very best thing about him. He’s not yet broken down and corrupted by life’s events and bad choices, forcing himself to shed the innocence and to build himself a new carapace, protection from the world. Michael uses insults and dramatic anger, with hints of self-deprecation and as much humor as he can muster as his. Gavin takes his anxieties, his self-doubt and his ridiculous ideas and wraps them around himself to keep people from coming in too close. For both of them, it makes for great entertainment, but it’s also so much easier to hide behind being funny to avoid being asked to be sensitive, or in touch with their feelings.

Which is why it has taken so long for Michael to realize that he has feelings for Gavin, and not just friendship, _we spend so much time together and we have so much fun and you’re my boi feelings_ , no. That’s part of it, of course; but there’s also everything else, the stupid way Michael’s stomach drops when Gavin touches him inappropriately, the way making Gavin laugh is all Michael ever wants to do, and how sometimes he looks at Gavin and all he wants is to have him naked and sprawled across his bed, begging Michael for more.

These are all the kind of things Michael can’t think of now, because Gavin, right now, is so far away from it all, and Michael envies that. He wishes he could have that back, if only for a while. But as it is, he can only experience as much as possible with Gavin, his innocence and his childlike wonder, and try to retain some of it for himself. For hard times.

;;

After a week, Burnie gets Gavin a pair of specially printed Achievement Hunter footie pyjamas, which, obviously, delights Gavin to no end - he loves presents, at this point it’s like he doesn’t even care what it is. 

He spends the next half-hour after putting them on for the first time just sliding around Michael’s apartment’s wooden floors, squealing to himself when he manages to glide straight through the living-room. He goes crashing into a couple of doorways but always comes back up, giggling and calling up for Michael to look at him. 

“I bet you I can go from there,” Gavin points to the kitchen doorway as Michael leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, “To there,” More pointing, this time at the bathroom door, “In one go.” 

“What are we betting, buddy?”

“A trillion dollars!” 

“Is that all? You’re on,” Michael replies to Gavin’s excited shout, and they shake on it, Gavin’s hand tiny in Michael’s. 

Gavin prepares himself, Michael clearing the way, and then throws himself at the bathroom door with a ‘whee’ noise that makes Michael laugh to himself, watching Gavin slide to the bathroom. 

He gets there, but he also bangs his head on the door, reeling backwards and falling flat on his back. 

“Shit!”

“Ow,” Gavin mutters softly, and Michael’s already on his knees, sliding himself across the floor and willing himself not to panic.

Michael gently cradles Gavin’s head, sort of reassured to see his eyes focus. “You okay, Gavvy?”

Gavin sits up slowly, rubbing the back of his head with the heel of his hand, frowning deeply, like he’s trying not to cry. He’s pouting, bottom lip jutting out as he shakes his head , and Michael doesn’t hesitate; he pulls Gavin closer and lifts him up, taking him to the living-room. Gavin clings to Michael, making little snuffly noises. 

He snuggles close to Michael once they’re sitting on the couch, draped over Michael’s lap, his arms around Michael’s neck. Michael keeps brushing his fingers as gently as he can against the back of Gavin’s head, worried about a bump. Maybe he’s supposed to take him to the ER? 

“Do you want anything? Water or something?” 

Gavin shakes his head burrowing deeper into Michael’s embrace, and Michael, he - he doesn’t really think about it when he presses a kiss to the top of Gavin’s head. Gavin doesn’t even react to it, his breathing slower now. “It hurts,” he says after a while, and Michael makes a sympathetic noise. 

“Sorry, buddy.” He spots the book he’s left on the side of the couch and leans to pick it up, showing it to Gavin. “Want me to read some more? Change your mind?”

Gavin nods, sticking his thumb in his mouth in that move that Michael now knows to associate with self-assurance. He nods, opening the second tome of _Game of Thrones_ where they left off. It’s one of Daenerys’ chapters, and Gavin makes a swift little happy noise, talking lowly with his thumb in his mouth. “ _Dragons_ ,” he says, and Michael grins. 

He’s totally going to be fine. 

;;

“Unicorns?” Gavin asks, and Ray raises an eyebrow at him. They’re sitting on the floor of the AH office, sorting through games. Ray’s organizing, while Gavin is just taking the plastic off of those who haven’t been opened yet. Another way to make GO! more efficient, Michael wagers. 

“What about unicorns?” Ray asks back. 

“Is there a My Little Pony that’s a unicorn?”

“There are lots, actually.”

Gavin frowns, putting a previously unopened _Dragon Age: Inquisition_ box on top of the ‘to be sorted’ pile. “But unicorns are rare.”

“That’s exactly why My Little Pony sucks, Gav,” Ray says, looking up at Michael with a triumphant smile. 

“Don’t listen to him, Gavin, he knows nothing.”

“Like Jon Snow.”

“Exactly. My Little Pony is great, we can watch it together if you want.”

“We can watch Pokemon!”

Michael huffs, and Ray crows in delight. “Yes! Oh, Gavin, you were raised right.”

It’s not even that Michael doesn’t like Pokemon, because he does, but MLP. Some things are _sacred_. Fuck Ray. 

;;

Michael goes through Gavin’s house three times, and keeps on coming up empty-handed, with regards to finding a inhaler. He’s not too worried about it, as Gavin has yet to show any kind of issues breathing, but he’d still like the reassurance. He searches the house while leaving Gavin to potter about, look at his own things and sometimes ask what they are or why he’s got them. 

“You’re very famous on the internet and people love to watch videos of you blowing stuff up,” Michael says of the Youtube awards, and Gavin’s face goes all wide. 

“ _Awesome_!”

Michael laughs. “Yeah, you say that a lot.” 

Still, no inhaler, and Gavin is going to be no help. Michael can’t just go to the chemist and ask for some, so. He’s just going to have to hope that Gavin’s lungs will hold up until he’s back to being an adult. Which, hopefully, will be soon. 

;;

On the second weekend of Gavin being a child staying at Michael’s apartment, they plan on spending Saturday night watching movies. After an uneventful day of hanging out with Geoff and Griffon, they come home, put on their pjs, and settle on the couch next to each other. 

“Do you want pizza?” Michael asks, knowing the answer will be yes. It’s also not really on ‘Gavin’s recommended foods’, but the way Gavin’s face lights up is worth the hassle. 

“Yes! With pep-peppirini and cheeeeeeeeese!”

Michael laughs. “You got it.”

After food is ordered, they get on with their first movie of the night; Despicable Me. It’s not just because Gavin reminds him of Agnes, but it’s also because the movie is a total and unadulterated pleasure, and Michael wants to enjoy it with Gavin. 

“I want one,” Gavin whispers, surprisingly soft and full of wonder - when Agnes gets her unicorn, and Michael grins to himself, he’s not surprised. The pizza comes a little bit in, and they eat with paper towels, too much cheese striping their chins with grease; it’s a fucking great time, and Michael finds himself surprised again that he’s having such a good time with a kid, but - it’s Gavin. 

After Despicable Me, they switch on to a classic, The Lion King. They both sing along, entirely off-key and just perfect, and Michael grabs Gavin and holds him over his head when Rafiki does the same with Simba, making Gavin laugh uncontrollably as he hovers above Michael in his footie pyjama, feet kicking about. 

“ _Naaaaaants ingonyamaaaaaa bagithi baaaaabaaaaaaa_!” Michael sings, and Gavin laughs harder, delighted. He’s still laughing after Michael deposits him back on the couch, and Michael is extremely pleased with himself until Gavin’s laughters dies, replaced by sudden, hacking coughs.

“Hey, hey, okay, breathe, Gavvy,” Michael says, suddenly serious, rubbing his hand up and down Gavin’s back. Gavin coughs a couple times more, before seemingly calming down, but Michael can hear how his breath is a little labored, whistling intermittently when he inhales. “You okay?”

Gavin nods, but looks at Michael. “I want some water please, Micoo,” His voice is raspy, and Michael nods, pouring him a glass and handing it over. Gavin drinks most of it in one go, both hands around the large glass, and after, it seems that his breathing is better, but Michael is sobered anyway, spending more time looking at Gavin than the movie.   
Gavin keeps on taking slow, deliberate breaths, and Michael fucking curses adult Gavin for not putting an inhaler somewhere easy to find, seriously. Gavin seems to want to focus on the movie, though, so Michael lets him, but he can’t help but feel like their evening is ruined, and it’s all his fault. 

;;

Gavin gets worse at night. 

He wakes Michael up, not even saying anything, just shaking Michael awake, and it takes him a second, but then he hears it, the way Gavin is struggling to breathe, wheezing so bad Michael’s heartbeat picks up immediately. When he looks at Gavin, he can see, even in the darkness, just how panicked Gavin looks. 

“Shit, shit. Fuck it, you know what? We’re going to the hospital,” Michael says after a split second of thinking about it; there is absolutely nothing he can do here, and he’s not going to leave Gavin in this state while he, what? Googles that shit? Fuck that noise, he is getting doctors to look at Gavin. 

“Micoo,” Gavin says with a raspy tone, his breath whistling painfully. He’s crying, too, which doesn’t help, and Michael tries his best not to fucking panic. 

“Shit. Okay, okay, try to stay calm, buddy,” Michael says, even if he himself is as far from calm as he’s ever been. He jumps out of bed and into a pair of jeans, not bothering with a clean shirt as he shrugs his jacket on, then quickly hoisting Gavin into his arms, grabbing his little jacket on his way out. 

Listening to Gavin trying to breathe is painful. Between strangled sobs, his breathing is shallow, like he’s close to hyperventilating. He sounds so _scared_ it fucking breaks Michael’s heart as he bundles Gavin into his car, getting behind the wheel in a hurry. 

Michael has to focus hard on the road and not on Gavin’s breathing as he drives - wrapping the car around a pole would do neither of them any good. But the hospital’s not exactly close and Gavin just seems to sound worse and worse as time passes, his chest heaving as he struggles to breathe, and Michael is just as panicked, fingers tapping an erratic rhythm on the steering wheel. 

“Come on, fuck’s sake!” He yells at a red light, flooring it as soon as it changes. “We’re almost there, Gavvy,” he tells Gavin, wishing he could do something. Anything. 

“Okay,” Gavin murmurs, seeming to curl into himself further in his car seat. Michael speeds up some more. 

;;

 

When they finally make it, Michael rushes Gavin through, and of course, it’s a Saturday night and the ER is bustling with drunks and rushed nurses. Gavin hides his face in Michael’s shirt for a moment, which Michael is glad for - there’s quite a bit of blood happening, and Gavin’s gag reflex is no better as a kid than it is as an adult, he really doesn’t need anything to trigger it, on top of the asthma attack. 

Triage takes forever; or maybe it only takes a few minutes, at this point Michael isn’t sure anymore, and it’s a fucking nightmare to fill out any form for Gavin, because - fuck, he’s not supposed to be a kid, this isn’t supposed to happen. Michael, as he writes out his insurance details, suddenly feels how acutely he _misses_ Gavin, normal-sized Gavin, the adult one with the stupid questions and stupid noises and stupid nose and brilliant laugh. Michael misses him so much it’s like being punched in the gut, and for a second Michael feels so nauseous he thinks he’s going to have to be admitted too. 

It passes. Like a tidal wave, it passes, leaving Michael wrecked, but still standing. He steels himself, scanning the form for anything he might have missed; this isn’t about him, for fuck’s sake. 

Gavin, once admitted, is given a corner of a room in the kids’ ward of the ER. It’s no quieter than anywhere else in the hospital floor, but at least, Gavin is lying down, and breathing slightly better, after being given an emergency inhaler, and he’s so tired it’s a struggle for him to stay awake at this point, eyes at half-mast as he looks as Michael, sitting by his bed. 

Michael runs a hand through Gavin’s hair, dropping his forehead on the mattress by Gavin’s shoulder. “Shit, Gavin, you scared the everloving fuck out of me with this.” 

Gavin raises a hand, patting Michael’s hair, and Michael huffs out a chuckle, sounding watery to his own ears. “Thank you taking care of me, Micoo,” he says softly, sounding older than he currently is. 

Michael looks up after a moment, resting his chin on his hand. “You know I love you, right, Gav?”

Gav makes a tiny noise. “I love you, and Ryan, and Geoff, and Ray and Jack, and Burnie and unicorns.”

Michael laughs again, even as his heart breaks a little. “They love you too.”

“But you love me best, right?”

“Yeah, Gavvy. At any age, I love you best.” 

“Good.”

With a satisfied look on his face, Gavin gives in and closes his eyes. He’s not quite breathing right yet but Michael knows the pediatrician is on it, just running a couple of tests before sending him off with the right inhalers. Michael reaches out, brushing hair off Gavin’s forehead gently. 

“I should probably tell adult you I love you, shouldn’t I,” he whispers, thinking Gavin is asleep, but Gavin blinks his eyes open at Michael’s words, something calm and quiet swirling in them. He reaches out too, patting Michael’s cheek. 

“Mummy always says to be honest with feelings,” Gavin says, sleepily. “I like that you love me,” he adds, his eyes closing again. 

;;

They get released in the early hours of the morning, with Gavin conked out in Michael’s arms and breathing normally, thank fucking Christ. He doesn’t even wake up when Michael buckles him up, drives home, and gets him out of the car, completely dead to the world as the sun slowly rises over Austin. 

Michael tucks Gavin into bed in the guestroom but leaves the door open, looking at him from the doorway for a moment, just wanting to reassure himself that Gavin’s good and safe. He whatapps the rest of the guys to explain they’ll be late in and why, adding reassurances that Gavin is fine. 

When he finds himself wavering a little, his own exhaustion making itself known, Michael trudges to bed, barely taking off his jeans and jacket before he’s falling on top of the covers, entirely unwilling to move further. 

Sleep has never felt so good. 

;;

“Michael!”

Michael jerks awake, his heart beating too fast. The shout came from Gavin’s room but it’s not tiny Gavin’s high-pitched squeal. Michael’s pretty sure that he didn’t forget to lock up behind them earlier when they finally made it back from the hospital, and the voice sounds so much like - can it - 

“Gavin?” Michael asks, sort of hesitant, as he gets up, wondering if he should go for his baseball bat. That’s when his door bursts open, and there he is, Gavin, fully-grown adult Gavin, with his hair in disarray and his eyes a little wild, and just, _fuck_. “Holy shit,” Michael says, and then, he grins. 

“I’m back, motherfucker!” Gavin cries out, and Michael laughs, so fucking relieved he could cry. He rushes forward and pulls Gavin into a hug, clinging for a moment and all too happy to feel Gavin hug him back, tight. And then the night before comes back to Michael - shit, he totally told Gavin he loved him the night before, and - 

“How much do you remember?” he blurts out, feeling his heartbeat pick up again as he steps back hurriedly, his cheeks heating up. 

Gavin looks straight at Michael, his smile faltering, before coming back full force. “Shit, Michael, _everything_ ,” Gavin replies, then surges forward, grabbing Michael’s face in his hands. “Last night, you said - and I, I do too, I love you, I can’t believe -” He leans close, the two of them of them breathing each other’s air, but then he hesitates, eyes flicking up to Michael’s. “Can I -”

Michael groans. He’s been waiting for so long and he’s so happy Gavin’s back to his proper self, and - “Jesus Christ, Gavin, if you don’t kiss me _right now_ -” 

The end of his threat is cut off by Gavin’s lips on his, fucking morning breath be damned. He kisses Michael like a drowning man searching for air, a little desperate, and Michael echoes the feeling, his hands closing around Gavin’s hips and pulling him close; if Michael didn’t think it’d end in disaster, he’d fucking climb Gavin right here. He doesn’t want either of them to crack their head open on the floor, though, so he elects to just grip Gavin as tight as he can, helplessly moaning when Gavin opens his mouth to Michael. 

They’re both panting when they pull away, and Michael bites his lip as he takes in Gavin, who’s standing there with his eyes still closed, mouth red and shiny, on this side of obscene. 

Shit, Michael had _missed him_ , even if this is something completely new between the two of them. Just, the feel of him, his stupid fucking facial hair and his nose and his gangly limbs, it’s so good. 

“Oh my God, does that mean I like, changed back because you finally admitted your stupid feelings for me or whatever?” 

Michael looks up at Gavin and his bright, delighted smile at the realization, and Michael wishes it wasn’t why, it would make everything so much less embarrassing. But he remembers his conversation with Joel, how Joel talked about things coming to a head and changing his relationship with Burnie, and shit. What else could it be? 

“Nah, it was probably the asthma attack,” Michael replies nonchalantly, laughing when Gavin punches his arm. 

“That was fucking scary, by the way,” Gavin says anyway, and Michael tries his best to not just grab Gavin and never fucking let him go. “Haven’t had one of those in a very long time.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael says softly, looking at Gavin’s collarbone. 

“What for?” Gavin sounds genuinely surprised and a little confused. 

“Well, it started because of me.”

“No, we were fucking around, it’s fine. And if it didn’t happen, would you have told me you love me? Me as in adult me?”

Michael shrugs one shoulder. “I have no idea.”

“But you do.”

Michael sighs. “Fuck knows why, but yeah, I do. Look, it’s stupid, okay, I’ve been in love with you for a long time and I just didn’t let it overwhelm me because we’re friends, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with my stupid fucking feelings -”

“Only I’m in love with you too and I didn’t think you’d ever be into me, because, you know. I don’t think people are into me.”

Michael huffs out a laugh, looking up and brushing his nose against Gavin’s. “We make a right pair, don’t we.”

“And we’ve got a lot to catch up on, I guess,” Gavin replies, and kisses Michael again. Michael’s all too eager to kiss back, letting himself be gently pushed towards his bed, falling back on it and bringing Gavin along with him. Yeah, they’ve got a lot to catch up on, indeed. 

;;

“You still owe me a trillion dollars,” Gavin says softly, later, right against Michael’s collarbone. He’s got a tiny smile on his face, like he’s keeping a secret, and Michael grins. 

“Yeah, I do,” he says, suddenly reminded of something. “But, since I don’t have that kind of cash right now, you’ll have to deal with this,” he adds, rolling over to grab the bag he had stashed under the bed to give Gavin. “Here.”

Gavin props himself up on an elbow. “What is it?”

“Open it,” Michael says, feeling a little bit stupid about it, but he’s done it now. Gavin pulls the bag open, and grins when he pulls out the stuff unicorn Michael bought for him. He looks into Michael’s eyes over it, then starts laughing. 

“It’s so _fluffy_!” he exclaims loudly, and Michael falls back on the bed, laughing breathlessly. 

;;


End file.
